friendship

So as I lay in bed I started to think about some of my friends. Wow friends that really a hard thing for me to say. I have this thing when I get very attached to my friends. When they start to become real good friends I become scared to let them in. I am afraid they will hurt me or find out I am a pain in the BUTT!! I don’t want that. I have an amazing husband and amazing children. God has given me everything I have ever wanted accept one thing. Friends that I know I can fully go to and that will come to me. A friend that will stick closer than a brother. Yeah, I have had friends who we where once like that, but we are not like that today for whatever reason. As I laid there I thought about dreams I had growing up where I would be married have children and I had friends who I would share this amazing life with. Then this dream would fade away and I thought I would never see it come to take place. But I have almost everything I have ever dreamed of having and accept the true friendship part.

Then I started to pray for a friend I really care for and then another who I care just as much for. Stirring emotion in me, making me sick and wanting to cry. Is this from u God I ask? I am scared and yet I want this friendship to work and don’t want to screw it up by acting a fool or something. What do u do in this situation? I also realized there are a couple other friendships that I feel could be good ones also. But they are just not ready yet. Hard to explain what I mean but I can just feel it. I’ve tried tons of times b4 to force a friendship and it just fails hard..

If you feel this is about u then maybe it is. Call up the person you feel a connect to or send them a txt msg.. Listen to what ur heart says b/c that is of God. Listen to Him.

You are!! They are!! I love when God talks to you. He just told me the answer. Now will I be too scared to do anything about it. Faith!! I know I am rambling but I’m sure nobody reads my blogs so I’m good.

God Please be with me as with all others who may be reading this blog. We are humans made in your image and want a strong lasting relationship with others as well with you. You are an amazing father who has done amazing things in my life and I just want to thank you for everything you have done for me. Amen